Girls, help or destruction?

I always wanted to know who in their right mind would chose/want to go to war. They know from the start that they will be leaving their family and loved ones behind, that they will be putting their own life in danger, and that they might be required to kill someone (whether it be on purpose or due to self defense). This is something that I have always known I would never be able to do. I could never willingly put my life, or the other soldiers' lives that I am with, in danger. That is why I respect soldiers very much and appreciate everything they do.

However I do know that if i were put in the situation as the soldiers in The Things They Carry I would definitely want to have someone back home. I would want that person to be there so I know I wasn't alone. That person would also be used as a reminder as to why I am where I am, and also to have something to look forward to. Knowing that you have someone back home waiting for you, I think, would cause you to be a little more cautious and responsible because you don't want to put yourself in a position where you won't be going home.

A few, if not the majority, of the soldiers had a woman that was in their life or that they talked about, at some point in the story. The only problem with having that woman in your life/on your mind, that a few of these men found out the hard way, is that they can cause more pain and destruction than one would think.

Take, for example, the incident with Kiowa and Jimmy Cross. As soon as Jimmy Cross pulled out the picture of his girlfriend everything went down hill. Now, in this case it could be completely coincidental , but it could also be the side affect (a.k.a. the destruction) of having a girl in your life as a soldier. Tim O'Brien even says, "In the field, though, the causes were immediate. A moment of carelessness a bad judgement or plain stupidity carried consequences that lasted forever" (177). That split second, when the girl was on his mind, was all that it took for something to go wrong. Is having a girl really worth all the destruction it could cause in the end?